Sure, you know how to talk. It comes naturally: You have a thought, open your mouth and out it comes. But few of us know how to talk so people listen, pay attention and help us achieve our goals. Why?
Many missed messages are victims to time and habit. According to Sonya Hamlin, a communications expert and author of How To Talk So People Listen: Connecting in Today's Workplace (HarperCollins, 2006), you have just one and a half minutes to get your message across before your audience loses interest. As for habits, we rely so much on fast-paced technology like text messaging that "we've become a race of non-speaking humans," explains Hamlin.
Here's how to slow down and communicate well at work. While the following examples involve job-related situations, many of these lessons will serve you well in other areas of your life.
Before a meeting
Know your audience
"People are motivated by self-interest," says Hamlin. "Find some way to identify where they are at. Ask yourself: Why should they listen to me? If you can't answer that, you haven't thought things through."
It's also important to plan a good meeting time. Hamlin suggests avoiding 11:30 a.m., because you or your meeting partners may be hungry and grumpy just before lunchtime, and avoiding 4:30 p.m., when everyone is likely thinking about going home. Schedule meetings at times that make sense for everyone involved.
Identify with your audience
"Baby boomers learn pro forma -- the formal, ritual talk. Gen X and Y are informal, value the truth and getting to the point," says Hamlin. "Either way, a minute and a half is all you have to hook them. Up close and personal is what's new in communications. Drop the formality and bond with your audience on a personal level, so you're talking about 'us' and not 'me.'"
Pick your approach
"Whatever you want to change, you first have to sit down and work out what will make a difference," Hamlin explains. "Set up a scenario that others can identify with -- not one that you know about and they don't.
"Give very logical, concrete reasons, showing why this will work. If you're looking for a raise, for example, think about what you've done to better the company, and how it's a good investment."
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