4. The question is too personal: "How's your sex life going?"
You have every right not to answer the question, says Marsh. "If you have a coworker asking excessively personal questions, you get to decide how much of your personal life is relevant to your work. You get to define it. You get to decide what information is relevant."
And if you decide it is out of bounds? You can simply say, "That's a little personal for me," or "I'm just not comfortable talking about that," or, if you want to be blunt, "That's none of your business."
5. The question invites blunt criticism: "Do you think I am doing a good job?"
Jamie Gruman, an assistant professor of organizational behaviour at the University of Toronto at Scarborough, says the response always depends on the situation.
"Your answer primarily depends on the kind of relationship you have with your superior or your colleague. If you don't have a very good relationship and you are unsure about the consequences of what will happen if you give honest feedback, you may want to soften your punch," he cautions.
Either way, be nice. "You should always use tact to provide your feedback in a supportive way," says Gruman.
Look for the positive, says Marsh, but don't say things you don't believe because that will only make you feel compromised. Be constructive, but be careful about the sandwich technique, in which you offer praise and then slip in the criticism.
"I'm not a big fan of that technique -- it becomes artificial and it's insulting," says Gruman. "I'm a big fan of honest direct tactical feedback assuming you're in a position to offer it."
6. The question is hypothetical: "What would you do if you were in my situation?"
A person asking a "what would you do if" question is almost always seeking input. "He wants guidance, that's what he wants," says Marsh. She suggests turning it around and asking him, "OK, so ‘what if?' What is the worst possible scenario?" That allows him the opportunity to vent.
"I don't know" is a good answer, says Posen, especially if you don't want to put time and effort into the answer. But, he adds, if this is a good friend and you are inclined to help, you can say, "I don't think this is advice for everybody, but if you are asking me what I would do...."
7. The question requires you to divulge someone else's confidential information: "Do you think Sally has ever had an affair?"
"That's easy," says Posen. "I never answer the question. I would absolutely never divulge anything personal. The line I always use is, ‘It's not mine to tell.'"
Little good can come from a question like that. "There is nothing in it for me or the person being asked about to answer that question," says Posen. For him, trust is the key. "I think trust is one of the most important things that exists between people," he says. "Breaching trust is a very, very dangerous thing to do."
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