What will it take to make your couple relationship last for a lifetime? Here are the crucial ingredients for long-term couple happiness:
1. Trust Trust creates feelings of safety and security for you and your partner. Safety enables you to be closer to each other and to know that you can count on each other.
Remember that trust is a two-way street: First, you both need to engage in trust-earning behaviours. Be trustworthy and insist that your spouse be so as well. Then you both need to take the risk to trust each other. This can feel scary, but the rewards you reap can be great.
2. Respect Research shows that continually treating your partner with contempt, dismissiveness or disdain greatly increases your chance of divorce. So remember to treat each other with respect. Sarcasm, name-calling, eye-rolling, and personal attacks all corrode couple closeness over time. Get these damaging behaviours out of your repertoire. Practise listening and speaking respectfully to your spouse, even when you are upset or angry - especially when you are upset or angry. If you have a hard time doing this, see a good couple therapist to help you. It's that important.
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