We've all gone through it: you meet someone, sparks fly and after much jubilation and intimate moments, the spark fizzles. No matter if it was a long- or short-term affair, it hurts when you or your lover makes the decision to say goodbye. Even though the world looks bleak now, dealing with post-breakup blues is an opportune time to nurture yourself while becoming a stronger, more confident you.
Oh yeah, and don't forget to laugh! Humour happens to be one of the best ways to get over that certain someone.
Learn to love yourself...no, really!
Yes, "love yourself before you love another" does sound like a tired cliché, but when you're facing your fifth breakup in a year, it's best to assess what's keeping you from enduring a long-term partnership. "We always expect someone else to nurture us," says Luke De Sadeleer, author of Vitamin C for couples: Seven "C's" for a Healthy Relationship (Creative Bound Inc., 2000). "You have to learn how to love yourself before re-entering a relationship." Begin this process by asking yourself if you can be happy when you are alone.
If being alone scares you, you will probably have a hard time finding happiness with someone because you are depending on that person to nurture you. "Learn the skills needed to nurture you," De Sadeleer says. "Ask yourself: 'How do I nurture others?' and apply that to yourself."
After recognizing that the love you give yourself is just as important as the love you give others, it's time to acknowledge those feelings of rage and revenge. Yes, if you've been unceremoniously dumped, there are coping mechanisms that curtail any need for a voodoo doll that resembles your ex.
Page 1 of 2
|
more articles
