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House wars over housework
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Whose responsibility is it to cook the bacon when both partners are bringing it home? Find out how working parents can share domestic chores.
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By Marlene Orton
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A woman was asked why she and her partner broke up, and she thought long and hard before she said, with an air of experiencing an epiphany, "His stinky clothes heaped on the floor in our bedroom."
Evidence is piled high as a mountain of laundry that women who hold full-time paying jobs still do the bulk of household work. Put a group of women together and a cosy chat will usually turn into a raging rant about how it takes a stack of dynamite to get their guys moving to help around the house.
Making a home
Malodourous Jockeys may seem like a trivial reason to sever a relationship, but it goes much deeper than that, says Robert Glossop, director of programs for the Ottawa-based Vanier Institute of the Family. "We tend to think of doing the dishes and the laundry and shopping and that kind of stuff as nothing but drudge work. But these activities are, in fact, the foundation of why we do everything else. To make a home is to make decisions with another and have a commitment to spend time and communicate with another."
The critical value of housework lies in doing it together as a couple, Glossop says. You don't really care who is doing the dishes. What is most distressing to somebody is if they alone are responsible for doing the dishes and the other person splits to watch television. At that point, it does become drudge work. If two individuals behave in their home as though they are isolated and atomized, then that represents a distance that will ultimately jeopardize the relationship."
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