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WHAT'S NEW
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How to pave your path to lasting happiness
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Find out why joy is learned -- not inate -- and get tips on how to find it every day.
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By Krista Foss
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These two dramatically different takes illustrate Baker's belief that using constructive language when we tell our own stories -- to ourselves and to others -- gives us the power to make our lives positive. When we have faith in ourselves to find the good aspect of life's ups and downs we feel more secure and resilient and are able to cope with whatever the future holds.
Personal strengths
Discovering your inner Pollyanna is a lot easier if you have a fix on your personal strengths, rather than a fixation with your weaknesses. When a troubled woman suffering from burnout with three young children recently came to the office of Tom Gardner, a Montreal psychologist, he listened beyond her problems for clues to her strengths. "When you work from the viewpoint of people's strengths, you don't deny their problems, but you are always attuned to the positive possibilities within them," he says.
After a few sessions, it was clear to Gardner that his patient was a dynamo in her work life, where she made executive decisions, juggled many projects and handled people effectively. Over time, he helped her recognize these strengths and find ways to draw on them in her personal life. For instance, by applying her organizational ability to her children's bedtime -- a daily source of stress -- she staggered their turning-in times so she could spend half an hour getting each of them ready. She walked away from therapy with a better sense of herself and a more manageable home life.
In his book Authentic Happiness (Simon & Schuster, 2002), Martin Seligman lists 24 basic strengths arising from simple human virtues such as courage, creativity and kindness, and supplies tests to help people identify the five signature strengths that will see them through tough bad times and give them a template to build their lives around. The 240-plus questions ask you to rank how closely certain statements -- such as "I have taken frequent stands in the face of opposition" or "I love to learn new things" -- resonate. (The tests are available at authentichappiness.org.)
Multidimensional living
When Janet Thurston finished her breast cancer treatment six years ago she started 7 Points of Light, a campaign to raise money and raise cancer awareness by climbing seven volcanoes in the Pacific Rim. This initiative integrated the best things about Janet's life -- her vigorous health, a sense of purpose and her dedication to other people. Others achieve balance by focusing on their health or people who are important to them, and they include more gratifying tasks and good deeds in their busy schedules. What happy people like Janet know is that fears pop up every day, but facing them with the best part of yourself makes life more meaningful.
Recently, Janet learned she had a second chance to climb Mount Rainier, this August. "I'm so happy, I'm vibrating!" she exclaims.
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