Just about every woman wishes to be more slender. But perfectionists don't just wish it, they expect it -- and if they are not, they blame themselves for being flawed and lazy and for lacking self-control and self-discipline.
Obviously there are health risks associated with obesity, and a healthy weight is a smart goal. But the fact is, you don't have to be reed-thin to be healthy. In fact, research shows that it's actually better to be overweight and fit than slim and sedentary. Using black-and-white thinking, overweight perfectionists tend to feel that if they can't whittle themselves down to a size 4, there's no point in trying to lose any weight at all. But there is a middle ground. And the best way to find your middle ground is by setting a realistic weight goal. Here are some tips on how to do that:
Be reasonable
If you have a smallish number of pounds to lose, pick a weight goal that is reasonable, healthy, and attainable. Don't pick what you weighed in high school.
Set a series of goals
If you have a larger amount of weight to lose, consider setting a series of weight goals. For example, if you weigh 180 and would like to weigh 130, don't set 130 as your goal because losing 50 pounds is just too daunting. Instead, set a goal of losing a pound a week or three pounds a month.
Losing even a few pounds will do wonders for you -- it will lower your risk of disease, boost your mood, energize you, and allow your clothes to fit more comfortably. When you get to 165, stay there for a while and practice maintaining it. Then you can set a new weight goal for, say, 150 pounds. By breaking weight loss up into achievable chunks, you increase your chances of success.
Get moving
Some women find it best to forget about the numbers on the scale and focus instead on moving their bodies. My friend Miriam Nelson, author of Strong Women Stay Slim and other books in the Strong Women series, has found that when overweight women concentrate solely on short periods of strength training just a couple of times a week, their strength levels improve noticeably in a very short time. What's more, they lose weight and inches. Then, as strength levels increase, women feel more energetic and are naturally more interested in exercising more.
Once they've built an exercise habit, healthier eating seems to fall into place on its own. That's what happened with Lisa Delaney, an editor at Health magazine and author of the book Secrets of a Former Fat Girl. Twenty years ago, Lisa, a size 16, began a successful weight-loss journey simply by exercising. She changed her diet later, after the pounds started to come off. Lisa, now a size 2, maintains her weight loss with exercise and smart eating.
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